I like writing on this thing because I like to see they way I put words and thoughts together. And sometimes when I write things down (or type them down), it makes everything seem a whole lot clearer in my head. New York is on my mind lately. Not only because I'm going there in oh you know, just five days, but because I sometimes feel like my life should be featured in Gossip Girl. Yes, I love it. Yes, you could argue that I have an unhealthy obsession with it. There are so many things that happen to me on a weekly basis that you only hear about in movies or in books. (No, finding out that I'm the princess of a Troll kingdom is not one of them. Damnit!) I don't want to give the e-world an inside on the events of my life, so I'm going to be as vague as possible. I will even break it up into smaller paragraphs for you so that you don't get bored.
Betrayal. There has been some betrayal in the past few months. And a couple of big events. Not to say that I'm dwelling on the events, because I'm not; but they did put me into this ever-so-sensitive-fragile state I've been in the past week or so. Betrayal has been (should NOT have been) a big part of my life. So it might be sad to say that I'm a little bit used to it. When certain events happen, I feel numb to them. I know, I know. I sound like a teenager full of angst. But guess what, I'm not a teenager anymore (yahoo!) and I'm definitely not full of angst lately. Anyways, this paragraph is dragging so I'll conclude it. Betrayal= the root of my fragile state.
Honesty. Now you all know me. You know I'm the most blunt person you will meet. I feel there is a difference between being honest and being blunt. I feel as though being honest is telling the truth in a nice way. Being blunt is just telling the truth. Could be nice, could come off totally rude. But either way, I (mostly) tell the truth.I guess sometimes my bluntness comes off as mean. I don't want to come off as mean (as much as I want to be Blair Waldorf). I want to come off as honest. I know the bluntness is what you all love, but those who don't know me may not love it. They may feel as though I'm being rude or demeaning. I really don't want that. Maybe I'll keep it for all of you who know me. Maybe I won't. (ahhh haha so mysterious!)
Bad-mouthing. Soooo as you know, I've been dating a great guy. Over the past five-ish months, I have realized that he hardly ever says bad things about people. I am ashamed to say that I am NOT like that. It's really hard for me to keep my mouth shut when people offend me or when I think people are flat out stupid. But I'm trying. I feel so awful when I find out that people bad mouth me. You know, I get that ALL the time that people don't like me. It's usually because they don't know me. I'm not the warmest person when you first meet me, but when I get to know and love you, I would literally do anything for you. Anyways, back to bad mouthing. I don't like it. It hurts people's feelings. And I'm trying my hardest to stop.
(I'm sorry these paragraphs are not even as close to as short as I envisioned they'd be.)
Death/illness. These seems to like to grace me with their presence quite frequently. No, not the death or illness of me, but the death or illnesses of others. I do not like these. Not one bit. It's sad to see people go. It's sad to see people suffer. It makes me question a lot of things. And I don't know if these questions are questions I should be asking. Does anyone else feel me?
Paragraph five: (Just because I feel like four is a weird number of paragraphs. But not kids. You must have an even number of kids.)
Dammit. This post is negative. I really don't want it to be. But it's my outlet, so why would I talk about happy things? Ah ha ha ha. Just kidding. I love happy things. Like trolls. And my Kindle. Everyone should get one. I have read more books on it in the past month than I have normal books in the past two years. Yeah, I said it. Why? Because I hate the sound of paper rubbing together. And I hate the texture of the paper of normal books. Yes, I am crazy. We all know.
PS. Eff freaking Weber State. Let's talk about how you don't give me (hardly) ANY Pell Grants because you're too freaking cheap. Well, guess what. You can't afford to be cheap! You only have a 35% graduation rate! SUCK IT! Or is it Obama I should be pissed at? Really? My mom had breast cancer this year! Cut us some slack jerks.