12.16.2010

Saving Second Base!!!

Baha. Yes. It's true. My mom has breast cancer. 
Wow! Where did this all come from? I think I'm a little shell-shocked, or maybe I'm just choosing not to deal with my emotions. (That's what my family would say I'm doing.) This is crazy! I can't believe, of all people, this happens to my mom. She is definitely the LAST person that deserves it. I keep wondering, why her? But I guess the better question is, why not her? I know the Lord gives trials to those he trusts most, and I completely understand this, I just hope that my mom can understand it.
I guess no one can REALLY understand cancer and why it has to happen to anyone.I mean, you'd think that whatever causes cancer gets that it probably won't win with today's technology. 
You see all these people going through parents with cancer or going through cancer themselves and you think, no, no, it'll never happen to me. But it could. And I thought the same thing a few weeks ago. And it did. And it sucks. But we are dealing with it. Of course, we are expecting the worst and hoping for the best.
I'm gonna quote Katie on this one, (to my mom) "Maybe you'll meet a guy during treatment who will fall in love with you when you have no boobs and no hair and then you'll know he REALLY loves you." ha ha. I'm glad we have humor to keep us sane.. and.. drugs:) Just kidding on the drugs part. But really.
My mom has a lot of support. I feel bad because I know she wishes she had one more type: a husband. We are all here for her, but there's only so much that kids, friends, parents, and siblings can do. It's a different kind of love with a husband and I think that's what makes me feel the worst. I wish she didn't have to do this alone. (Shut up, I know she has God but it's different.) Sometimes, I don't want to be positive. I want to hate everything about this.But I'm also premenstrual:) (too much?).
I am negative a lot. I usually look at the glass as half-empty in everything. I like being negative; it's fun!
But really, there are so many great people out there. The owner of Texas Roadhouse, John Christensen, is awesome. He is helping in any way he can. He is such a generous man, and I really genuinely appreciate him. I love him. There are also a lot of generous people out there donating. The Church, my aunt's friends, my friends, my family's friends, they are all helping. I love this time of year. People are so much more willing to give and it is so much more appreciated. I can't thank all of you enough for your support, prayers, and donations.
(if you are interested in donating, there is an account set up at America First Credit Union under the name of "Cyndi Tangren Charitable Account.")
My mom is such a wonderful woman. It frustrates me because she has spent the majority of her life giving to others and helping others and it's hard for her to accept help in return. She is a Social Worker and a Marriage and Family Therapist. She is always taking other's burdens on her and she doesn't have anyone to help her with her's when she needs someone to talk to. It's time for her to give up her pride and let others take care of her. 
I know she is trying to be positive, but how positive can you be? I don't blame her if she is pissed at the world and wants to sleep this all away. I hope we can be a help and keep her laughing. We are pretty damn funny.
Anyways, I love my family. I actually can't say I HATE the trials that we go through because it brings us ALL closer together. I just don't like my mom being the guinea pig.
Life sucks. But I love my mom and I know she can do it. If you want to read about what is actually happening  (medical wise), here is the link to her blog Cyndi's Story. I won't go off about the medical stuff, cuz I just don't pay attention to that. :)
Keep her in your prayers!

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