What I Learned After One Year of CrossFit

Well. It's official. I've done CrossFit for one year, 3-5 days a week, every week (except vacay, obvi). (Okay my actual year anniversary is on the 22nd, but I have time on my hands tonight to write this.) I never in a million years thought, when I walked into CrossFit South Boise, that I would be walking into one of the most life-changing things I've ever participated in. It's molded me, lifted me up, and healed me. I never thought I would ever stick with trying something new for a whole year. But here I am. And because I'm a huge fan of bold words and lists, I would like to share (mainly for myself) a few things I've learned about myself & others after doing CrossFit for one year.

Gaining Weight is Okay.
I was always so scared of gaining weight. My whole life goal was to stay under 100lbs (serious). It was pretty bad (like almost eating disorder bad)-- to the point where I would restrict my eating so that I would lose/wouldn't gain weight. I was unhealthy, unhappy, and what I like to call "skinny fat." There is a HUGE difference in being skinny and being in shape. And it's amazing to me that one year of doing CrossFit can change my thinking about weight gain quite a bit (I still have some work to do; I have my bad days.). I was SO obsessed with having a flat stomach, a thigh gap, stick-thin arms, and my collar bones showing (I know, stupid). But here I am, wanting a toned stomach (problem area), wishing for stronger thighs, and wishing for biger arms and shoulders and not giving a damn about my collar bones showing. I have put on 24 lbs in one year AND I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE CONFIDENT IN THE WAY I LOOK. Don't get me wrong, I sill have my days. And I don't know that that will ever go away. But if this is what one year will do, imagine what the next years will bring.

People Will Mock You.
And that's okay. I have learned that people will mock anything that makes you happy that they don't understand. Guess what I do? I shake it off. I don't care if people think I'm annoying or "one of those people." I am happy. And I owe A LOT of it to CrossFit, so why WOULDN'T I talk about it? And those who really love me won't mock me, but be happy for me. Okay, you can mock me, but don't be an asshole. (There's a fine line and I will tell you when you've crossed it.) If they mock you, they don't deserve to be apart of your happiness. Cut. Them. Off. (From CrossFit talk)

You Will Feel SO Stupid at First.
I don't know how I made it through the first few months. Actually, I do. Shout-out to Alyssa Townsend for being my friend!! But seriously, you will feel like the biggest idiot EVER in the beginning. It takes a couple months and a lot of YouTube to get the hang of everything, but once you do, you'll love it and won't care what everyone around you is doing. Eventually (just like with anything), you will make friends. And that's what will keep you there. If you don't make friends, it will be really hard to stick to it because you will feel dumb every time you go. I have made some amazing friends at my box and I wouldn't ever want to trade that. I am SO glad I got over myself and reminded myself that NO ONE cares what I'm doing. Once I realized that, it was much easier to not feel stupid. Also, a Xanax before every class (at first) helped.

Before & After Pictures Were Great.
But after awhile, I just got discouraged. I saw lots of progress in the beginning, but after awhile, I didn't see as much physical progress as I did progress in my performance. Before & Afters may be for you, but they just discouraged me. Although it was amazing to see how sickly I looked before and how I actually look like a normal human now.

All I Want to do is Eat.
Holy shit. I never thought I could put away three eggs for breakfast, a big lunch, and a Cafe Rio burrito at night and STILL be hungry. And guess what? I NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT I EAT. And it is so liberating. Granted, I SHOULD be eating better if I want to perform better, but let's be real. I'm an Evans and Mormon. I don't have that self-control and I love me a good casserole. I am more aware of what I am eating though, and I try to eat more meats and protein so I think that's an improvement from eating just one meal a day and counting my calories. Now I just want all of the food ever. Except seafood cause, ew.

Progress in the Gym > Everything.
Nothing feels better than going from deadlifting the bar to maxing out at 145lbs just 11 months later. Or back squatting 55lbs to maxing out at 140lbs. Or getting double-unders (still have lots of room for improvement there). I never feel more accomplished or more confident than when I get a new PR. And if you think you won't get there, you will. You truly will. If I can do it, you can do it. Lifting heavier weight seemed so daunting. I never in a million years thought I would ever grab the 45lb plates. But I do now! And I'm not gonna lie, it makes me feel pretty cool.

Working Out Makes me Happy.
I just recently skipped three days in a row and I could tell. I was ornery, didn't want to go back, tired, and felt like shit. Going to CrossFit balances my moods, keeps me happy, and keeps me motivated. I didn't think I would EVER be able to go off my medication, but honestly CrossFit has made it bearable. So if I ever stop my meds and CrossFit at the same time, everyone RUN. (For realz)

CrossFit is Virtually the Same Everywhere.
I feel like CrossFit is literally one big huge mixed family. I get to a box in Utah when I'm down there and make fast friends with everyone because everyone has the same thing on their mind. I love that I can go anywhere and drop in at a box and get an AWESOME workout and meet new friends. It's incredible. You don't get that with your local chain gym. At CrossFit, we are all family. And I love my CrossFit family so much. In BOI and UT.

It is Worth the Money.
It's expensive, that's for damn sure. But you cannot put a price on the happiness, self-respect, and self-confidence I've gained from CrossFit. There is absolutely no other way I would have ever become comfortable in my own skin had it not been for CrossFit. Plus you are basically getting a personal trainer at your fingertips at every class.

Being Held Accountable is Everything.
I HATE explaining myself to people if I miss a class or a week. So you know what I do to avoid that? I don't miss. My coaches and my fellow athletes will notice when you're gone and they will ask. And nothing is worse than spitting out lame excuses. I sign in when I get there and I record my results to keep me motivated to keep coming back and trying to do better. You aren't held accountable at your local gym. No one will ask you where you've been or if you're okay. You'd better believe they will at CrossFit.

Always, ALWAYS do the Squat Test When Buying Pants.
I don't really need to say more.... but I learned this lesson the hard way. ALWAYS do a squat test. Squat, jump, hold the pants up to the light. stick your butt in the air, whatever it takes. Also, LuLu Lemon pants can and will be see through, but they are also very cute.

Shoes Will Make A Difference.
Once I got real lifting shoes, I noticed a difference immediately. If you want to improve i your lifting, you must have the proper attire and equipment. Shoes are probably the single most important thing you can buy for working out. Make sure they are good ones. (Reebok makes a great CrossFit line of shoes.)

CrossFit Will Change Your Life...
If you let it. If you go into it with the attitude of "oh these people are douches" or "oh I will never and never want to be one of them.", you will not enjoy it. Go into it with an open mind. Understand that it is different. It's a different atmosphere and a different workout than any other place you will go. But it WILL make you happy. Be careful with your lifts and make sure you've got a good coach to correct your form. If you feel like you're not good at a certain lift, don't put a lot of weight on. That simple. Embrace the CrossFit lifestyle. Go to competitions. Go at least three days a week. Try to go to the same class time each day. Get to know people and make friends and I PROMISE you it will change your outlook on life. Find the right box, the right people, the right coaches, and the right attitude and you will become a happier you. I promise. (And that means a lot coming from me because I am a pretty negative person.)

And Lastly, Haters Gonna Hate.
And those haters are just jealous assholes. Enough said.

**Please note that I am no professional athlete, I am just writing the things that have been helpful to me throughout my CrossFit journey. Don't take me too seriously.**

Here we go again

Well. I'm back. Hopefully for awhile. You know, new year, new me, & all that bullshit.
Jk, I'm really going to bore ya'll with my New Years Resolutions because I think they mean something.

In 2015 I will....

1. Stop feeling guilty for doing things that make me happy.
I posted about this on Facebook, but it seems more appropriate to post on a blog. Back in the day (2014) I would want to post about or talk about things that I had done with someone or things that I had done all on my own, but I was worried about the grief I would get from people. The grief would be for not inviting them, or being "one of those workout people", or swearing too much. But guess what? I'm over it. That's not what MY life is for. I'm not here to please everyone else. I'm here to please myself and my family. If I want to post a picture of me at Crossfit, I will do it and if you guys don't like it then #unfollow. If I want to use a hashtag, I will. If I want to go to the mall with one person and not EVERYONE in that specific group, I'm totally going to. If I want to post a picture that seems ridiculous that others may not understand but I think is hilarious, I will. Get your feelings hurt if you will, but I will NOT be responsible for that.

2. Start loving myself a little more.
 This one will probably be the biggest challenge I face. I mean this in the most humble sort of way. No, this doesn't mean take more pix with a selfie stick, or to post more flex-in-the-mirror-at-the-gym selfies. It just means I need to learn to respect myself and love who I am a little more. As the famous and talented musician Kurt Cobain once said, "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." Anyone with my personality type (INFJ) is typically filled with self-loathing and I am no exception to this rule. I've realized that I can't like other people to my fullest capacity unless I like myself. And a big part about learning to like myself is for me to learn to be okay with the first thing I posted. I also want to learn to be the best version of myself possible. This means being kinder, more giving, more optimistic (that will be rough), and do more for others. I want to show the world that I really can be (and I feel like I am) a good person. I truly do care about others (a little too much). I just need to show it more.

3. Give more.
I was so #blessed (that's for you, Thib) in 2014. My boss spoiled Nate & I to no end. Nate ALWAYS spoils me even when he doesn't understand the things I want. (Minky, Lululemon, The Buckle, Sephora, etc.) We are so fortunate to be able to buy things for ourselves when we need them. There are others who are not. Whenever I am feeling bad about myself (which as you can tell, is often), if I give of my time, money, or resources, I always ALWAYS feel better about myself. So really any time I am giving it's to make myself feel better which really shows you how selfish I am. (Just kidding. But really.) I think we all could benefit from giving more. So next time I absolutely HAVE to have those (most likely see thru) yoga pants from Lulu, I'll need to stop and think about who in my life could use this money more than I could. And give.

4. Stop comparing myself to others.
Someone famous once said that comparison is the root of unhappiness. (I honestly have no idea who said this and I'm too lazy to research and find out who did.) I look at our friends and our relatives who seem to be able to buy whatever they want and go on all these trips and get really jealous. I think about what they make for a living and how they save and how they budget. When really, Nate & I are so blessed and fortunate that we have NO REASON to be jealous of others.(Actually I am the blessed one to have someone who is as good at budgeting as Nate is.) Sure, we aren't able to go out and buy that bedroom set I desperately want, but we are able to put food on the table and splurge on other things now and again. The minute I start to compare myself to others is the minute I get stressed about the future, about having children, about not being able to afford what our friends can afford, etc. Nate & I both need to learn to be happy with what we have. And in turn, maybe that will help us learn to give a little more. "Don't compare your behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel." Word.

5. Read more.
And read more books with substance. (Sorry Katie.) I've been reading this book about the effects trauma has on young & developing brains. It's been very educational and I'm not even halfway through. It's very profound and I'm actually learning a lot. A lot more than I learned in college. I would much rather read and learn about humanity and the human race then about a fake romance that will never happen in real life (sorry Katie). (The book is called The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry if you're interested.)

6. Write more.
I used to write ALL THE TIME. And it was fun because I think I can sometimes be funny via the world wide web. I've stopped because I was too worried about what people would think about me. But this is me. And I am who I am and I won't apologize for it. If you don't like my blog, that kind of makes me sad because by nature I am a people pleaser, but it makes me happy. Also, I probably won't apologize for swearing, but I will warn everyone that I have a mouth on me.Especially when I write. I've tried to stop, but I can't. It just feels so damn good sometimes!

7. Gain a better appreciation of Christ & His sacrifice for me.
I struggle with my testimony, a lot. It's not something unknown to me. But this year, if I gain a big testimony of anything, I want it to be of Christ & what he did for me. Which seems appropriate since we will be studying the New Testament this year. Which sucks cause I might actually have to pay attention at church. I will get there though, I have faith in that. I do have faith that if I put the work in, God won't hold back from helping me help my testimony grow. I want to be more like Christ and I think in order to do that, I need to gain an appreciation of what He's done for me and I need to gain a knowledge of the things He taught and what I am to learn from those things.

That's all. I think. I'm sure I'll come up with some more things to work on, but I feel like these already seem so daunting that I better not add anymore to the list. Wouldn't wanna set myself up for failure!

Happy New Year, all. Make it a good one.

-a

INFJ

Old friend.

I've been doing some soul searching. It's been fun. I found this personality test and I took it and honestly, it gave me a new meaning to life. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true. It did. No, it's not the stupid color one. It's a more in-depth one. It's awesome. Some may argue that these personality tests are a hoax and they don't mean anything. 

But they do. Because mine was me. Spot on. So me that it was creepy. 

So here's to the INFJ part. That's my personality. First, I would like to personally elaborate on the I:

Introvert

To some, this may seem weird. I work at a job where I have to be outgoing and for the most part, I am. I have always had jobs like this. But I finally realized what being an introvert really means. (With the help of the internet which, as you know, is always accurate.)

I honestly just laughed out loud because I was wanting to find a general definition of the word "introvert" and here is what I found:

in·tro·vert

noun

1. 1.

   a shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person.

Ha! I would like to think that I am none of those things. (See how reliable the internet is?)

An introvert isn't necessarily shy. An introvert (especially an INFJ) is hardly self-centered. An introvert can definitely be reticent. But not to the extreme that everyone assumes. Granted, I do know that everyone is different so this is 100% my opinion (and the internet's) and not fact.

I would say the description that describes me as an introvert is:

Yes, I'm an introvert. No, I'm not shy. No, I'm not stuck up. No, I'm not antisocial. I'm just listening. I'm just observing. I can't stand small talk, but I'll talk about life for hours. I'd rather be home with a close friend or two than (then?) among a big crowd of acquaintances. Don't scold me in public. Don't embarrass me in public. Respect that I'm reserved. And if I open myself up to you, know that means you are very special to me.

(credit: Pinterest (internet))

You know when you read or see or hear things that make you say "ah-ha"? Well, this was one of those moments for me. 

I always wondered why I was so happy and outgoing at work, but the moment I got home I would shut down and be grumpy. I always wondered why I was so content with sitting home on a Friday/Saturday night. I always wondered why I was always so outgoing when I am around people I know well but I can hardly say more than a few sentences among those that I don't know very well. I always wondered why people (at first impression) thought I was stuck-up when really, I'm quite the opposite.

Now it all makes sense.

I'm an introvert. (Have I said that yet?)

Some people get their energy from being around others. I get my energy from being alone. It doesn't mean I don't like to be around people, because I do. I really do. But it drains me. It literally exhausts me almost to the point of tears sometimes. I have always thought it's because I have depression. I'm sure that's part of it. But now that I understand this part of my personality, I know it's not all the depression.

Anyways. For those of you who care to know, here are some things I've read (on the internet) lately that really ring true when I have been researching "INFJ"

Obviously this is very general since it's not in my personality to go into personal detail, but here you go:

10. We are planners 

As with many other Judicial personality types, the INFJ enjoys structure and order. Though our intuition can cause our structure to fluctuate, we still thrive best when we can plan out the details of our situations and lives. Sometimes, however, spontaneity can occur outside of our control. This deeply shakes us and we often respond to this loss of control with anger and frustration.

Brandie, over at Little Left of Normal sums it up best when she says, "Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan..., and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation."

9. We are extremely intelligent 

INFJs are introverted thinkers and extroverted feelers. Because of this, we can struggle to articulate our thoughts. While we may, in our minds, be able to answer deep meaningful questions, retain amazing amounts of data and debate with the best of them, when asked to speak aloud, we often fumble, stutter over our words and say a small fraction of what we are actually thinking. This lands us the labels of slow-witted and unintelligent.

However, when we are comfortable with a person and situation and are given plenty of time to ponder an inquiry or organize our thoughts into words, we can speak fluidly, clearly and passionately on almost any subject.


8. We only need one person 

Because we are introverts, INFJs are completely content being with just one person, whether a partner, friend or family member. When we make friends, it is usually for the long haul and it takes a lot to destroy a relationship. Unlike extroverts or some other introverts, INFJs can spend the rest of our lives with only ever being close to one person and never feel as though we are missing out on other relationships. In fact, we actually prefer it.

When we have many relationships in our lives, we can become easily overwhelmed and feel as though we are not giving our best to each relationship, leading us to feel unhappy, exhausted, and stretched thin.

7. Prolonged solitude kills us 


While some introverts can be all by themselves for every second of the day and feel nothing but contentment, an INFJ needs to be 
around people. Though we still need time in solitude in order to recharge ourselves, too much time alone can leave us feeling drained, lonely and depressed. INFJs thrive on the emotions of others. We live for bettering others to better ourselves. We cannot do this if we are always by ourselves. When an INFJ does not have a close relationship, they can became depressed and feel empty.

"INFJs often feel happiest and most fulfilled when helping others understand themselves and their problems." - Personality Junkie, INFJ

6. We are perfectionists 

INFJs are never happy with ourselves. No matter how much an INFJ has improved, there is always room to be better. Often times, we can struggle with relishing in our accomplishments since we continue to focus on where we have fallen short and how we could have done better. It can sometimes frustrate an INFJ to see others complacent with their current selves.

"INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments...they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families." - Portrait of an INFJ, www.personalitypage.com

5. We loathe small talk

While many INFJs can practice and put on a good show, most of us struggle with social norms and routines, especially if we see little use for them. Since, as mentioned before, we find it difficult to put our thoughts into words, we can feel uncomfortable being in situations that cause us to interact in a spontaneous and shallow manner, such as meeting someone new.

INFJs spend most of our time thinking through deep and complex matters, therefore shallow and menial conversations of everyday life can confuse and frustrate us. Talks of the weather and local sports are exhausting for us. We would much rather ask for life stories, sincere problems of which we can offer solutions and therapy session-like conversations. When we ask "how are you," we mean it on the deepest and sincerest possible level.

4. Our label means a lot to us 


While every person can be pinpointed as a specific Myers-Briggs Personality Type, INFJs tend to cling to our label as soon as we 
discover it. As we are the rarest personality type, making up an approximate 2% of the population, we spend most of our lives feeling lost and misunderstood. Once we learn that we are not alone and that there is an explanation as to why we have always felt different, we feel overjoyed and almost "normal."

Even if the description of an INFJ does not fit us 100%, it still usually offers us a lot of information for which we have spent the majority of our lives searching. Those four little letters can be life-changing to an INFJ.

3. We are very open-minded 

 INFJs have an amazing ability to think abstractly. In our minds, it is easy to see gray areas and blurred lines. While we tend to have strong principles and passions, an INFJ can usually see another persons point-of-view on any situation. Whenever there is a difference of opinion, an INFJ is very driven to ask questions and seek information about the opposing side in order to understand the different perspective. This part of our personality leads to deep compassion and always giving others the benefit of the doubt.

2. We are warm-hearted 

 INFJs can outwardly appear cold. Because we tend to be very private and enjoy only opening up to our closest companions, others can see us as cold and detached. This is the furthest from the truth. INFJs are, in fact, extremely warm-hearted and open to everyone around us, but because we are socially inept, we can struggle with making others aware of this. Our compassion knows no limits and we are mostly selfless people. We hope that everyone can open up to us and know that we are there for them, however, we will probably not open up much to them by no fault of their own.

1. Our intuition is real

INFJs are known for being the most intuitive personality type. We "just know" a lot of information that we can never fully explain. Many sensing types and a few intuitive types cannot fully grasp our level of intuition and easily discredit our knowledge. Without any explanation as to why, we can feel the feelings of everyone around us as deeply as though they were our own.

As An Anonymous INFJ states: "In my experience, the most misunderstood part of an INFJ is how we feel everything those around us feel. We do not sympathize. We do not empathize. We literally feel exactly what you feel. Even if you are trying to hide it or don't express your feelings, somehow we still know."

Along with our open-mindedness and compassion, our ability to intuitively feel and sense things around us is a large part of why we can help others so easily. We just know what is best for those around us even if we cannot articulate why.

 If you know an INFJ or want to be closer to an INFJ, believing in our intuition is the best thing you can do because it is the biggest part of who we are.

(credit: http://www.jennifersoldner.com/2013/06/top-10-things-every-infj-wants-you-to.html)

So now that I'm all exposed and feel like everyone thinks I'm crazy/annoying/weird, I hope this helps everybody understand me and my shortcomings (there's a lot of them) a little more. 

If anyone is interested in taking this test, here is the link:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

After you've taken it and it shows your letters, google your letters like this "INFJ personality" and it should take you to a page that is very helpful. 

I would love to read what everyone is, so feel free to comment your letters :)

Anyways. Too serious. I'll leave you with this:

Aaand I'm out.

(almost) one whole year

Holy moly.
One whole year has gone by since my last post... which is probably a good thing.

I don't even want to begin to try to catch everyone up. If you really care to be caught up on mine and Nate's lives, just look at my FB or Instagram. It's all there.

I kind of quit blogging because I felt a little too exposed. And I will probably quit again (just a heads up). I saw someone's blog the other night and I read it and it made me want to start documenting life again. Facebook is so annoying and so much more temporary than a blog.

One of the things I have been thinking about lately is social media. I am so ridiculously involved with it, it's... well... ridiculous. I feel like Nate and I spend the majority of our time "together" on our phones. We need to go back to Motorola Razors.

I am trying pump the brakes on the social media because the only thing it ever does is make me feel insecure. Which is not a very hard thing to do, but still. I blame the internet. For everything.

I am tired of comparing my life to everyone else's lives. I have come to realize that I will probably never have thick, long hair with perfect curls. I will never have the newest, cutest clothes because I just can't bring myself to spend more than $25 on a shirt that probably doesn't fit me because I will never have those huge boobs everyone else seems to have. I will never have a perfectly clean house and perfect decorations that brighten up everyone's lives when they walk in. I will never have a perfect family. I will definitely never have perfect abs, calves (dammit), or biceps. I will probably never eat as healthy as I should or be able to post how long I've gone without drinking pop. I will never be a "perfect" member of The Church or even be able to pretend that I'm a perfect member of The Church. (That last one is the saddest one, I think.) I don't think I will have perfect children. Especially if they are anything like me. Which with my luck, odds are good that they will be. I just will never have anything "perfectly." But what is most important is that I will never be able to pretend that I have everything "perfectly."

Pretending sucks. I hate pretenders. Why does everything have to be about image? Why can't we all just be real? Why can't I just post about how I have to take 37 medications a day (that was an exaggeration) just to be able to function normally and to keep my mind under control? Why do I think it's important that you know that was an exaggeration? Why can't I post about how much I swear or how much I LOVE to hear the "f-word" in songs? Why can't I post about my family problems? Why can't I post about my struggles with my testimony and obeying The Church? Why is it so important that we make sure that everyone thinks we have perfect lives? Why do we all care that much?

Well, I did just did post about it. So, there you go.

I don't feel like you all would judge me for those things by reading this, so why am I so worried about what my high school friends think? Or what a friend of a friend of a friend thinks? I guess I'm not... since I am posting this for the whole internet to see.

I sure do have a lot to complain about.

I also have SO much to be grateful for.

I love that I am able to, if I want, go spend money on clothes. I love that I have an amazing family who (even though we are all crazy) is my best support system. I love that my Nate and I are probably the weirdest couple I know. I love that I can feel comfortable enough with myself that I can eat two otter pops and a Kit Kat for lunch without feeling bad (yes, that did just happen). I love that my house is lived in and that I can't decorate because I need 38 medications instead of 37. (I don't really love that part, but I like making people laugh.) I love that my crazy, imperfect life makes people laugh. I love that my children will probably be so spunky that I'll want to rip my hair out. I love that although I have never had a lot of friends, the ones I have now are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I love that my testimony isn't perfect so I have room to grow. I love that I was blessed enough that I don't need to work out all the time (although I should). I love that I try my best not to pretend and not to care what others think. And honestly, I really love that I don't have it "all." I have all I need. I love that I can say that I am pretty dang happy with where I am at in life. Also, I really love pop. Like a lot. Like Mountain Dew from the fountain... MMM.

So maybe I don't need the validation I get when my pictures on Instagram get more than 10 likes (that's when it puts the number of likes instead of listing out the names of those who have liked it (why in the world do I know that?)). Or maybe I do. But that is a deeper issue if that's the case. And for right now, I'm done talking about my issues.

Anyways, this post is mostly rambles, but it's been what's been on my mind lately.


Damn that felt good.

how i feel

To be honest, I don't even know why I am posting about this. I really should just back off and not care... but I can't not care. I get soo pissed and riled up when I see the stuff people are posting on facebook/twitter. I guess pissed isn't the right word. I'm not sure what is the right word. Maybe just riled up is good. You might say, just delete pissed and you won't have to explain yourself but it's my blog jerks.

So here's the subject: Chicken-Fil-A.. some place in the mall.
I love love love Chick-Fil-A. So much. It makes me so happy every time I eat there. The employees are so nice. The lemonade is delicious and not to mention those waffle fries... MMM. Plus they have Cherry Coke and not many places have Cherry Coke. (Not the kind you pump the cherry into yourself. EW.)
I also love love love gay people. I love them as much as I love straight people. (Okay so maybe I don't love people in general, but I love a gay person just as much as I love a straight person.)

So you all know the drama between gay people and Chick-Fil-A. If you don't, look at your facebook feed and you can figure it out. But here is what the CEO from Chick-Fil-A said: (How many times am I going to have to type Chick-Fil-A? It is really hard to type.)

"We are very much supportive of the family-the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that... we know that it may not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles." 

First off, I will have you know that I support gay marriage ON A CIVIL RIGHTS STANCE. Go ahead, call me a bad Mormon. But I do believe in what the leaders of my Church say, as well. That's the beauty of the separation of church and state. I believe gay people have just as much (if not more) a right that straight people do to get married in this country. Although I don't think marriage in general should be a "right." (That's a whole other issue.)
Secondly, I love my freedom of speech. I love big businesses and small businesses. I feel that everybody has the RIGHT to do what they want with their money.(Except I don't like when people buy drugs, but they still have that right.. if they want... but don't buy drugs. They are bad.) Do I think the CEO HATES gays? NO!!! He never said he hates gays. I totally understand why people are upset about his statement and they have the RIGHT to be upset. But how is anyone to know that this man HATES gays? He may be against gay marriage, but so is a lot of America. That does not imply in any way that he hates gays. Shame on him for stating and fighting for what he believes? No.

You may say... "he is donating money to an organization that is against human rights, contradicting your previous statement of you supporting gay marriage on a civil rights stance." No he is not. He is donating money to an organization that also fights for what it believes in. And he also believes in what that organization believes in.
I apologize if this comes off as insensitive (that is not my intention at all), but I have felt like I have wanted to get this out for awhile. I understand why gay people would be offended about this, but I am sure there are hundreds of other businesses that do the same thing Chick-Fil-A is doing. They just didn't go public with it.

Also, I'd like to bring up a point I have brought up earlier. You think this big wig CEO cares about losing business? Doubtful. He's got it made. But.. the employees do care. They care about their jobs and their families. This is hurting them more than the CEO. How much do you wanna bet that not every employee feels the way the CEO does? What is it like an interview question? I highly doubt it.

Bottom line is, we all have the RIGHT to say what we believe and to stand up for it. I commend the gay community and others for boycotting Chick-Fil-A, because THAT IS WHAT THEY BELIEVE IS RIGHT. I also commend the people who continue to support Chick-Fil-A, because that is what they believe is right. Isn't that what is beautiful about America?
I hope we can all still be friends, even if you don't agree with me. Because if you think differently than me, I still love you.
If there is anyone who is gay and you are reading this, I hope you know that I love you. And I hope one day you can have the same rights in this country that straight people do.
If there are any waffle fries reading this, I love you too. And I will still eat you.

Okay, that ended on a weird note.
I hope I'm coming across how I want to.
xoxo

Not a rant

Okay... so... Boise ain't so bad.
Since I was sooo negative... here are something I like (love) about Boise.
1. Car registration is cheaper. Much, much cheaper. Like $35 vs. the $120 in Utah. Plus I don't have to do safety/emissions.. so.. beat that.
2. Car/renter's insurance is cheaper. Beat that, Sofa. (ha ha ha)
3. It really is beautiful here. Really.
4. Tango's! Our favorite empanada place!
5. All the free time I have (love/hate).
6. Houses are CHEAP! And once I get a job, oh man... I can't wait.
7. We are drama free up in here. Nate and I have so much fun together. Even if we just sit home. Usually we will drive around... because we get bored... and those always end up being the funnest times. I even have learned to like what he likes (not ALL sports.. just The Cubs and golf).
8. Our ward is awesome and they do awesome fun activities like boating/camping and floating the river and Frisbee golf. (What even is that? I would never play that. It sounds intensely scary. And I hate fear.)
9. A person down the street from us stabbed another person. To some, this may seem like a bad thing, but to me, it makes me feel right at home (Ogden=danger zone).
10. My mom sends me presents. (favorite child)

Well there's ten things. I know I love more things.. but I can't think of anything right now. GUESS WHAT GUYS I GOT UP WAYYYY BEFORE 11:00 TODAY! I'm really tired, but I have a feeling it will be a good day.
I have been working on redoing our bedroom furniture.(Which I will blog about when I am ALL done. (not that any of you care or not that any of you haven't seen 1000 craft blogs.. shoot me for it.)) So far, so good. I am an amateur at best, so the pictures will look better than they actually are. I have been sooo pinteresty lately! It's almost annoying. But I'm doing all the crafts I have wanted to do ever since pinterest... now that I have all this free time.

Really guys, Boise rocks. Although it is a bit depressing when my niece calls me crying because she misses me. (Real tears, people, real tears.) (Like you thought I could have an entire post without something depressing/negative in it... you must not know me very well, cyber world.)
I love N8 and I love being here with him. I would not want to be here with anyone else.

xoxo

Ranting

Two posts in one week... I am a true blogger!
DISCLAIMER: This post is mostly going to be ranting. So if you hate ranting, leave. LEAVE.

Let's begin by naming a few things that suck about Boise:
1. I do not have a job. I feel like I never will have a job. (Yes, I know I have to actually APPLY and they won't just come to me... and I do apply. Jerks.)
2. EVERY dentist office is closed on Friday's (Or July 20th... is there some holiday today that I don't know about? The Rodeo?). I have dental issues, people. I have a tooth that is turning gray!
3. Everyone cuts everyone off. So much rage. Idaho people do not know how to drive. Not that I'm one to talk with my driving record. Shut up.
4. There are so many Coexist bumper stickers here I want to rip my hair out. Actually, there are so many bumper stickers here.
Here are a few I have seen:
"My cat received 'Cat of the Month' award from her doctor!" NO ONE LIKES YOUR CAT!
"New Orleans: We put the fun in funeral" That's not really fair to Boise, but that person lives in Boise. So yeah, it is fair.
5. Blue and orange. Everywhere.
6. There are so many racist people here. It's weird.
7. There is no good live music here. Hardly ever. The best so far is on Oct. 1st (AWOLNATION). Of course, I'm attending.
8. I feel like there should be two more things that suck just because 10 is a good number for things that suck. And lists should always be lists of 10. Usually.
9. Boise sucks because I can't think of another reason.
10. Suck. It's 3:40 and I still haven't showered.

I have come to terms (I think) with the fact that some people cannot be reasoned with. Ever. It is impossible. And I get disappointed every time I try to have an adult discussion with these people. And I keep setting myself up for failure. Some people are just mean. And I like nice people. I like mean people too, but people who are funny mean. Not real life mean. Not serious mean.

It's okay if I stand up for myself, people. Even if what I say comes off as "harsh," one can only hold his or her tongue for so long. I refuse to be a doormat. Ever. I know all of you are thinking, "turn the other cheek, Amy", and "do what Jesus would do: love them." Gosssssh sometimes I don't want to turn the other cheek! It can be very unhealthy to hold in so much rage.

I feel like I try really hard to be a nice person and do the right thing. If I ever share my opinion and it seems "mean," it is usually to help someone or show someone that I care (or, of course, to stand up for myself). But WHY DOES IT ALWAYS GET MISREAD? WHY? Is there really something wrong with me here, cyber people? We are on the internet; I won't know who you are. You can tell me.

I want to rant more, I do. But I feel like the internet is the worst place to air dirty laundry. I want to. So bad. I am literally forcing myself from not using many swears and calling people out.
Forcing myself now to press "publish" instead of keeping this rant going until I get myself in trouble
Publish
Publish
Publish

here we are

Well. Here we are. In Idaho. Ask me later if I like it.
Here is what we have been up to the past few weeks. Although I am incredibly bored and a little bit homesick, I am so glad I am with my best friend throughout this journey. (cheese).
well let's get to it, then.

Love this little hole in the wall empanada place. It is so delicious.

(While I was still in Utah) Avett Brothers with my dad

Nate went to Utah for work and we got to spend some QT with our families.

4th of July fireworks at a trailer park.

Reverse the Curse night at Boise Hawks game.

Luff him. Don't mind my dry hair.

Luff him even more. He is hot stuff.

So there are a few of our adventures in the past few weeks. We try to stay busy on weekends. We have been looking for houses and that excites me. There is a lot to do up here,  so we don't really ever get too bored.
I feel both excited and apprehensive about what the future holds. I am nervous about school.... not only is it a HUGE intimidating university, but it is also VERY expensive. I pretty much have to re-do everything I've done in my program so far. And I hate when I hear people say that I'll just give up and won't graduate. So I just want to be done to prove everyone wrong.
I have only been away for a few weeks and I am already missing home. We are learning that we are going to have to miss out on a lot of fun things, but it feels like it will all be okay.
Don't get me wrong, we miss out on the "bad" things too. When things happen back home with my family that upset me, it makes me both sad and glad I am not there to have to deal with it. We all know my family is... well... "colorful" so I am happy that Nate and I can start fresh away from the "colorfulness" of my family.
No job for me thus far. I am doing some home improvement things while I have this free time. I am damn bored, too. But I will hopefully get our apartment in tip top shape. Plus, watching Pretty Little Liars, 90210, and Intervention make my life go by a little bit faster.
Nate is really loving his job. He is on a softball team which makes him very happy. He is very busy at work, which also makes him super happy. I'm so glad he has this opportunity. He sucks for making me move, but whatever. I'm over it.
Anyways. There is a bit about our lives right now. Things are falling in place for us. Let's hope they stay that way:)
xoxo

PS I found out that Gossip Girl's last season is this fall and they are only doing half a season. I feel no will to live anymore.

Boise, ID

Soooo I said I would only update this on a month-to-month basis unless I had something important to say. Well this may be old news to those of you who have FB and stalk me regularly (come on, I know all of you do it), but we are moving! By the title of this post, I do not need to say much more except the whys, hows, wheres, and whens everyone is asking.

Well, here is why.... Nate applied for a job at the MTC prison as a Finance Manager out there and did not really think anything of it. Well, he also applied for a position here in Centerville and sort of really really wanted it. A guy called him about the Boise job and asked him how serious he was about it and he said he was serious. What it came down to was him picking Boise or Centerville. And well,  you can guess what happened.

work.

How are we moving up there? With the help of our awesome families.

Where are we moving? I could post my address, but I won't. Instead I'll just give you a pic of the floor plan.

This is amazing because this is 2x the size of our current apartment! We are so excited about that. Minus the ugly carpet and counters, it is perfect.

Nate will be moving up this weekend. He starts on Tuesday and I am soo excited for him. I think he is both excited and nervous about it. We are packing and it is seriously the least fun thing I have ever done. I will be moving up the third weekend in June. 

I am both excited and nervous about this move. Excited because it will be a new place and Nate and I will learn to depend more on each other. Boise is BEAUTIFUL! I am just so very happy that it is not a small town... I think I would die. I am excited for Nate and his new job and I am excited to finally step out of this bubble that is Utah. (Idaho probably isn't much better but whatever.) 

I am nervous for all of the above (minus Boise being beautiful). I am nervous about school and finding a job. For those of you who know me, you know I am not the most outgoing person at first. I think it will be hard for me to make friends. (Not to mention how sad I will be to leave my nieces and nephews. I mean, really. They are all so damn cute.) But I think it will also be very good for me and for Nate. School will be a bust as I will have to wait a year to get residency so I can go full time and avoid the $8,000 out of state tuition I would have to pay. Plus I have heard the social work program at BSU is highly competitive. But I know things will work out. At least I hope they will.

But really, I can't be too sad when this is where I will be living. A CITY filled with trees? Serious.

Plus this means that if I ever get a dream job in NYC, Nate will be obliged to follow me there;)

Here's to new beginnings! 

xo

april

april was a pretty good, busy month. i really haven't had anything important to say on here and when i think i do, i end up erasing it. so for the time being i'm just going to update my life on a month to month basis until i have something important to say. here goes!

Easter with my family

Nate got all his favorite sweets and I got a coupon binder, floss n toss, and all my favorite sweets.

our niece, Audrey was blessed on Easter. So cute.

young the giant + grouplove with my dad and brother. old men. awesome concert.

dear nathan graduated from college! how relieved i am!

the golf cake i made nate for his graduation. 

spent a couple weekends with these kiddos

lovin them

found this beauty (TV stand) at the DI for $30. What's up! (Don't make fun of my poor attempt at decorating.)

girls trip to PC with jacee, ang, and katie.

we wanted to look hip and trendy so this was the result.

happy may everyone! hope this summer is the best. i am so happy to not have school. yessssssss
xo